Day 18

Well, that was a productive weekend.

I now have  a refrigerator full of prepared food, probably enough for the week. I have bratwurst, puff pastry shells stuffed with potato, sauteed onions, and bratwurst, Chinese-seasoned pork chops, and an excellent salad. We’ll see how long I can stretch all that…

Judging the robotics competition Saturday went swimmingly. I actually got drafted to go on camera and be interviewed for the local news. I have no idea how it looked since I don’t have a television and the online player won’t work, but it was still interesting. I did all my laundry, wrote a whole mess of letters, cleaned my apartment some, and most significantly made some good progress on a new website for my mother’s sewing company. Good stuff.

There’s not a whole lot else to tell. Despite the long weekend, I couldn’t find anything much going on, so I was mostly on my own. Despite having been here for about six months, I still feel like I’m acclimating.

Day 16

Daily posts are silly. At least for the purposes of this blog. I’m getting into a routine, and though I slacked off a bit there on Thursday, yesterday I hit everything on my daily to-do list except the reading for pleasure. I’m making good progress in my piano playing, and am starting to be able to play chorded songs somewhat reliably. I think that I’m getting a bit frustrated, though, by what I perceive as what I should be able to do and how quickly. I have this idea that “playing the piano” means that I can sit down with a piece of music that I have never seen before and start playing it as easily as I type new words on a keyboard. I also seem to think that the progression of learning is moving from doing this with relatively simple songs to doing it with more complicated songs to doing it without sheet music. This is based on friends of mine that I have seen play the piano like this, but I didn’t see all the preparation and work that went into the learning. Ah, unreasonable expectations.

Hopefully this will be a productive weekend. I’d like to get a draft of that website I’m building together, knock out my first a cappella piece as a first pass, do a lot more reading, cook for the week, hopefully hang out with friends, and write a few letters. There’s more, but we’ll see how that all pans out. Right now, I’ve got to get going to judge a Lego robotics competition. Apparently one of my co-workers deemed me good for working with kids, because I will also be accompanying her to a school on Tuesday to show off our robots.

I do love kids. I hope that I enjoy bigger kids as much. At my last church, I volunteered in the nursery. I filled in occasionally with the Crawlers, but was more often with Walkers and 2-year-olds. As much as I hate crying and stuff, I loved those kids. I only got two hours with them every other week, but I really enjoyed them. The kids on Tuesday are middle schoolers, and I do not have fond memories of middle school. I’m also applying to volunteer at a local orphanage, which seems to mostly work with teenagers. I’m a little nervous, but I really think it’s where God has called me, so I’m going.

Day 13

Found a doctor today who diagnosed the pain in my right leg as a hip flexor strain. Running is officially out for the next few weeks, so I’m using the cycle instead, which can be surprisingly hard when you crank the resistance up. Other than that, same old workout today, made rigatoni with meat sauce from the rest of the meatloaf, and spent the evening writing to one friend and editing a med school essay for another. I fit in a little bit of piano practice and now I’m trying to do a devotional and losing focus a lot.

I’ve been rather under attack on that front recently. Some who know me well may know that I frequently struggle with feelings that I am worthless in all forms and fashions. It will start from one aspect of my life that is not where I want it to be – most frequently the romantic aspect – and expand from there. These lies tell me that I am a failure professionally, that I am not a good Christian, that I am not a Godly man and will always be alone, that I have no friends and no one cares for me, etc. It used to be terribly easy to believe them, because they are all built on some sort of truth. I’m not a great roboticist, I’m just starting out. I’m not a perfect Christian, not the best of men, I have had great difficulty making friends in the past and still struggle to relate to people, and so on. But these are just feelings. I relate to God primarily through my mind – emotions are great, but secondary to me, and now that I understand the love of God, I can set these feelings aside, let  them run their course, and be secure in knowing that I am loved even in my imperfection, and that “He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phillippians 1:6) What a promise.

I watched this again tonight, and I can’t help but post it. This is how I have treated God – distracted by the things of this earth, setting priorities above Him. And this is how He treated me – drawing me back to Him and putting Himself between me and those things that tore me apart.

Day 12

I like this new system. I fit in practicing piano, an hour-long singing lesson, dinner with friends, writing some letters, reading for pleasure, and a puzzle. Yeah, distractions like the puzzle and *cough* YouTube *cough* really need to start going away. I also need to work on my fruit intake. Vegetables are easy because if I’m a serving short I can just grab a handful of carrots to snack on. Somehow the same doesn’t occur to me for fruit, though it’s just as easy.

At work I’m doing some development with Bezier curves, which are pretty sweet. Basically you define start and end points, and then control points in between. I’m working with cubic Bezier curves, which have two control points. They have the property that, if you draw a line from the start point to the first control point and another from the second control point to the end point, the curve will be tangent to those lines at the start and end points. This makes them great for robot path planning, though I’m having trouble doing the analysis that I need to since they are generally in parametric form and I’m used to working in Cartesian space. Oh to have the math skills of a Jon Cass* or a Mel Chua.

Voice lessons are good, but kind of depressing. It’s hard to find out that you are doing all these different things wrong with your voice and then try to fix them all while staying relaxed. Gah! Not to mention that I haven’t been 100% for any of them yet. But the hope is that I will come out the other end a better singer. Hopefully as I arrange and record some a cappella stuff y’all will reap the benefit…whoever y’all are.

* Jon Cass – update your blog, man! I want to know what you are up to!

Days 10 & 11

Sunday was excellent, and surprisingly productive. Basically, from the moment I got up, I followed what I wanted to do and refused to be stressed out. If I ever started to feel like I was “working,” I took a break. It was really good stuff. And you know what, I think it was my most productive day yet. I got up in the morning, took a shower, and inspiration struck as to how to adapt “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” to the stage. So of course, I had to go write that down, and then kept thinking about it while fixing breakfast of fruit, coffee, and oatmeal. Went back to that project until church, came back from church and picked it back up, and by lunch I had Act I written (minus songs). The rest of the day was spent puttering at different things intermittently, but I got in reading for pleasure, cooked a meatloaf, cleaned the entire apartment, did a bit of laundry, mended some clothing, and got in contact with some friends.

During most of this, and especially the cleaning, I tried a little more concertedly than usual to talk to God while I was doing other things. I found it easier than I had expected, which led to the question of why I can’t do that all the time? I could be at rest at work, every afternoon, and every weekend, no matter what I’m doing, so long as I am abiding in Him. What I found is that, in pursuing what gives me rest, I was following what was important to me – a clean apartment, a creative outlet, a time to break – and it worked. So this is how I’m going to pursue this next week. I’m skipping the stressful lists and not reporting on what I don’t get to do. You’re probably not interested in a laundry list of what I’m doing and eating anyway. Instead, my new goal is to try to abide in God constantly and make the best use of my time every day. We’ll see how it goes.

The first day was pretty good, despite the late post. I exercised, spent time with God, wrote a small pile of letters, ate an excellent meal of leftovers, practiced piano, and had a good, long conversation with a friend. Granted, there was too much time in there being distracted by the Internet, but I’m working on that. It was a beautiful day, I was productive, I was trying to be focused on God, and I wasn’t stressed out.

That’s all I’ve got this morning, and now I need to get to work. I can’t technically be late until it’s after 9, but earlier there means earlier quittin’ time.

Day 9

Well, today was a bit of a bust.

Things I Accomplished That I Set Out to Do

Devotional time and journalling took more time than planned this morning, but it was good. I may or may not have also gone off on a total tangent in a Facebook note that took some time to write. Lots of time was spent picking up, doing paperwork, paying bills, shopping, and all that other good stuff that’s not on the list, but needs to be done anyway.

On a more personal note, and something that took a few hours of my afternoon, I went to visit an acquaintance in the hospital. I hesitate to say friend just because I don’t know him very well, but he seemed glad for the company nonetheless. Unexplained illnesses are hard, but he’s recovering quickly and we are hopeful for him.

Things I Didn’t Accomplish That I Set Out to Do

I’m going to try to sit down and practice the piano and read before I go to bed, but I probably won’t get through both. I also didn’t clean my apartment, which I will likely end up doing tomorrow. I’m okay with that because getting things clean is not a chore to me, but rather something easy that I can turn my brain off for and relax.

Meals

>4 liters of water

Breakfast – Mango (two servings fruit), Oatmeal

Lunch – Clam Chowder, carrots, broccoli (two servings vegetables)

Dinner – Egg rolls, spicy chicken sausage, cauliflower, and French Onion Soup (two serving vegetables)

Notes

The end of the first week, and I’m in bad shape. My leg hurts so much I am limping noticeably, I haven’t done any work this month on the website or on my software project, and my new bathroom scale informs me that I am 25% body fat. Ouch – I’m really hoping the calibration is off. Tomorrow I declare a year of jubilee and a chance to sit down and reflect on what is the right way to attack the next week. Perhaps my friends are right and I’m trying to do too much. Perhaps I just need to learn to manage my time a bit better. Maybe both.

Day 8

Well, a night out with friends cut down on the list of things I get done, but the weekend is here, and I’ll be spending most of tomorrow very busy catching up.

Things I Accomplished That I Set Out to Do

Just the basics. I practiced piano, had some time with God (not the traditional way), and exercised. Something is up with my leg, so I skipped running, but still got in sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-downs.

Things I Didn’t Accomplish That I Set Out to Do

Of course there’s the ever-present software project and website. But today I didn’t get to my reading or write any extra letters. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Meals

>4 liters of water

Breakfast – Tangerine (one serving fruit), Oatmeal

Lunch – Italian Wedding Soup, carrots, broccoli, and a tangerine (two servings vegetables, one serving fruit)

Dinner – Country Fried Steak, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob (two serving vegetables)

Snack – Peach (one serving fruit)

Looks like I’m running short of fruit, so tomorrow will involve a trip to the grocery. I’m doing fine on other food stuffs, but I needed to go anyway to get some household goods.

Notes

I’m a bit tuckered out, but social time was worth it. I must learn to be more efficient with my time so that I can support more free time to spend with and making friends.

Day 7

I may have gotten a little distracted today, but overall I was still decently productive. Here’s the run-down:

Things I Accomplished That I Set Out to Do

Replaced my car tire, wrote my Congressmen expressing my views against the health care bill, fixed dinner, practiced piano, read for pleasure, had a Bible study, chose a dining table (finally), got references for volunteering, and wrote 2 letters.

Things I Didn’t Accomplish That I Set Out to Do

Yeah, I still haven’t done anything on that website or on my software project. Saturday is going to be severe catch-up day. It may bleed over into Sunday, but only if I want to do it, which would probably apply more to the web design than the software literature review. Also shifted to tomorrow is scheduling my first physical in several years.

Meals

>4 liters of water

Breakfast – Apple (1 serving fruit), Oatmeal

Lunch – Pasta with pesto, steak, mushrooms, and roasted bell pepper (at least two servings vegetables)

Dinner – Italian Wedding Soup, carrots, and broccoli (two servings vegetables)

Fell short in the fruit department today. That’s bad news, since it would probably be good to get the Vitamin C while I’m fighting off this whatever I’m fighting off. Tomorrow I’ll see if the tangerines are ripe yet.

Notes

I’m really not liking the current format of these updates. On the one hand, it’s good that I am reporting on where I stand with regard to the goals that I am setting, because it’s holding me accountable. But I think that the only people reading this are more interested in what’s going on in my life and mind rather than a laundry list of my daily accomplishments. I mean, as cool as it is to get to the end of the day and be able to look back at all this productivity, it’s pretty empty if you don’t have passion, or people to share it with, or any of that vital stuff that makes us people in the image of God. Like Paul says, the greatest of all things is love, and that’s not captured in anything above. That’s why I added this notes section – as a kind of braindump field, but it’s just kind of been an afterthought. What do you think? Any suggestions on how I could organize and present this better?

Day 6

Okay, this post will be quick. I’m fighting off illness, so I need desperately to get to bed.

Things I Accomplished That I Set Out to Do

Piano practiced, dinner cooked, essay on entitlement written, letters written, Bible studied, reading done. I also exercised, though because I was not feeling well, I only ran 1.5 miles, did 60 push-ups, 75 sit-ups, and 25 pull-downs.

This morning I almost called in sick, then got halfway to work before  realized I was driving on a completely flat tire. Let’s just say it’s been a long day. However, prompted by these events I as able to call the place that put the tires on about issues I’ve been having and schedule a fix, and I got a recommendation of a doctor.

Things I Didn’t Accomplish That I Set Out to Do

Working on the website and my software project look like they are getting pushed to the weekend. I also need to write my Congressman about the health care bill and get references for volunteering.

Meals

>4 liters of water

Breakfast – Apple (1 serving fruit), Oatmeal

Lunch – Chargrilled Mustard-Marinated Chicken, Baked Sweet Potato with Sauteed Leeks and Gorgonzola Cheese, and copious amounts of celery, with an apple for dessert (2 servings vegetables, 1 serving fruit)

Snack – Apple (1 serving fruit)

Dinner – Pasta with pesto, steak, mushrooms, and roasted bell pepper (at least two servings vegetables)

Notes

Need sleep. I almost couldn’t go to work this morning despite sleeping in by an hour. If I feel the same tomorrow morning, I’ll call in and have a day to recuperate. And maybe play a little catch-up on some projects.

Day 5

Fading fast here, so I’m going to crank this out. I was beat all day today from not getting enough sleep, so despite not being done tonight, I’m going to sleep now and hit it tomorrow.

Things I Accomplished That I Set Out to Do

My clothes are ironed,my orphanage volunteer application is filled out, I got more water bottles, found two bathing suits for adding swimming to my exercise routine, and I wrote two letters for tomorrow’s mail. I have a bit of a backlog in the mail department thanks to the holidays, so I will probably be knocking out one or two a day for another week or two at least. In addition, I fit in my 30 minutes of piano, 30 minutes of pleasure reading, and a Bible study.

Dinner was easy, since it was leftovers from yesterday. However, instead of having them already cooked, I had left the raw meat in the marinade overnight. Good stuff, easy to prepare, and nice and warm. If I can figure out the logistics, I will probably be repeating that more often.

Perhaps the most exciting task of the day was an hour-long voice lesson. It was quite uncomfortable, since I seem to have a bit of a cold, but I learned a good deal and have lots of pointers to look out for. I think that these lessons will be a very good thing, and greatly improve my singing. I’m still hoping to eventually start an a cappella group here – we shall see.

Things I Didn’t Accomplish That I Set Out to Do

Well, it looks like working on the website is still on the list, as now is reviewing a piece of software for my big project. That’s two hour-long tasks that I am now behind on, but if I keep falling short I can hopefully make it up this weekend, when I plan to relax a bit at home after two weekends of travel. It should be restful and productive, which may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s not for me.

Meals

>4 liters of water

Breakfast – Apple (1 servings fruit)

Lunch – Chargrilled Mustard-Marinated Chicken, Baked Sweet Potato with Sauteed Leeks and Gorgonzola Cheese, and copious amounts of celery (2 servings vegetables)

Dinner – Chargrilled Mustard-Marinated Chicken, Baked Sweet Potato with Sauteed Leeks and Gorgonzola Cheese, and fresh broccoli, with a peach and leftover Christmas goodies for dessert (2 servings vegetables, 1 serving fruit)

Notes

Good sleep moves up on the priority list. I was not all there at work today, and I can’t do the same tomorrow. Given my performance, I would rather do most of these things well and to the glory of God than all of them in a way that causes me to slack. I’m a government employee, and it seems that we are expected to cut corners and slack off all the time. It drives me crazy, and it is a point of principle to me not to fall into that very tempting trap. “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.”